Vacation by MekaMouse

Being in Hawaii on winter break. Laughing, smiling. My brother looking at the ocean. Crying. Thinking of my dada. My sister swimming in the pool. My brother watching patiently for her to come back to “shore”. Me watching. Crying. Thinking of my dada.

My mother wheeling herself in her wheelchair away from the pool. Going to the lookout point. Watching the waves. Looking out at the ocean. Watching. Thinking of my dada. Crying. Me coming up behind her. Looking at the ocean. Crying silently. Without tears. Hugging her. And wheeling her away from the waves.

My Godmama. Watching D-Y as we walk on the beach. D-Y looking out at the waves. Thinking of my dada. No tears this time. Just thinking. My Godmama catching the moments that fly by with her camera. Her shutter clicking. Never stopping. My shutterbug. Reminding me of dada. Always taking pictures. Watching D-Y think. Watching him let my father go. Letting the guilt and blame go. Crying.

My Goddad. There with us. Watching us all. Always. Watching us silently fall apart when we see the ocean. Watching all of us pick ourselves back up when we fall, watching us as a family, and watching us separately. Watching the beauty of the ocean. Watching the tears fall. Watching the silence and the loud crash of the waves. Watching us think. Watching us remember.